Our Little Secret
by sammyholst
Summary: An AU where a seventeen year old Damien Karp finds himself having to buddy with an eleven year old Jared Franklin in his English boarding school that he doesn't even want to be at. Jamien. Fluffy.


I tried my best to look approachable when the short boy I would be 'buddying' with walked up to me with a cheeky smile on his face.  
I had dreaded becoming a year thirteen for this reason; the buddy system.  
As if sharing classes with stuck up, rich English kids wasn't torture enough, this week I had to put up with a stuck up, rich eleven year old that would probably comment on my American accent straight away.  
I didn't even want to be at the school yet had been forced to suffer 7 years in the stupid place due to my parents wanting me to get a good education and to grow up near to where my uncle Stanton had. Why had I ever mentioned I wanted to get into law?

"Hey... Damien? I'm Jared." The tiny boy was standing closer than a foot away from me now and his voice shocked me; a strong American accent, California maybe?

"Yeah, awesome." I sighed and sat down in a chair beside me, kicking the other one slightly with my foot so that the kid would do the same. He was a slim boy with caramel-brown hair (far too shortly cut to suit him) and dull blue eyes that lit up when he smiled. He was at least four inches shorter than the average year seven and this was highlighted by the fact that he had rolled his blazer jacket sleeves up so that they didn't cover his hands.

"America?" The midget grinned at me and I felt my body tense up. He was too confident for my liking and that smile was awfully infectious.

"Yeah. Brooklyn." I scowled as I realised that I was returning the kid's stupid grin. I didn't want to give him false hope that I actually liked him.

"Minnesota," Jared pointed at himself and glanced out of the window before continuing to speak in his ridiculously high pitched voice, "Why are you in England then?"

"Aren't I supposed to be asking all the questions here?" I growled and glared as the little boy just smiled at me and tilted his head to the side, completely unfazed by my clear dislike of him.

"Ask away."

"Why are you in England?" I sighed as I realised I'd bought a conversation with the kid upon myself and prepared myself for a story about how he had a house out here that he lived in for school time and spent the holidays going out shooting and playing golf with his dad back at home.

"My dad thinks it'll 'sort my attitude out' and it'll do me "damn good to be educated away from that Peter boy'... ha" Jared laughed and closed his eyes, tilting his head back, "He's such a prat."

"Who's Peter? Your boyfriend?" I teased and watched as he began to almost squirm in his seat. His cheeks flushed slightly and he looked hurt as if I'd just insulted him. I forced back a satisfied smile and waited for him to defend himself.

"I'm not gay. I wish people would stop saying things like that."

"What? I was only joking... you get that a lot?" I leant forwards in my seat towards him and wondered how often he got things like that said to him and why. He certainly didn't look 'typically gay' - I always hated that stereotype -.

"I used to get picked on for being short by all the older and younger kids, and Peter would tell everyone to back off. The older ones would nearly always make comments about how my 'boyfriend' was protecting me and laugh. I don't even see what's funny about gay anyway. I'm not even going out with Peter but it still winds me up. He's my best friend by the way." Jared kept a mutual face the whole time and didn't even smirk at the word 'gay' like most pubescent boys would and I just stared at him, not knowing what to say.

"You gonna write to him this term?" Was all I could come up with but at least it wasn't an insult. I'm sure I had the urge to comfort him but I think it was just indigestion.

"Yeah! He told me to tell him about all the hot girls because I don't think he quite understands the concept of a boy's school." The cheeky smile returned to Jared's face again and I relaxed, the smile looked good on him in an irritating way.

"There's not even a hot teacher here. The youngest female one is like forty-five and she's balding." I began to pick at a hangnail on my right index finger and hoped that the kid would want to leave early to get to his lesson.

"Reckon I'd look like her twin right now then," Jared gestured grumpily to his hair and continued, "my dad said I looked a mess and needed a haircut before I could come to this school. I'd rather look a mess than a prick."

"Right." I was frustrated because I had no idea what to say to him. I didn't want to know about his dad. It was just after 9am and I had to deal with an irritating, sensitive, daddy's boy for a little less than half an hour.

We sat, awkwardly staring at each other for a minute or so and I couldn't help but notice how soft his lips looked. They looked as if he used Vaseline religiously and I smiled at the thought of this eleven year old boy applying Vaseline every hour on the hour just so he could keep his lips looking perfect. I didn't realise that I was smiling at his lips until he shifted in his chair and raised an eyebrow at me. I must've looked a right creep.

"Uhh, what's your first lesson?" I panicked and glanced at the timetable that was poking out of his jacket pocket.

"Erm, let's take a look!" He grinned and grabbed his timetable, unfolding it and furrowing his brow as he tried to work out how the school day worked. He looked like a toddler trying to figure out what all the silly noises their grandparent was making at them meant.

"It works like this..." I reluctantly got up and walked around the back of his chair, leaning over him so that I could see what horrors the day had in store for him. I knew he didn't understand it because of the confused expression that was plastered to his face, "Eng, 15... yeah you're in room 15 for English... you read downwards see? Your next lesson is underneath... mat, 28. Maths in room 28." I had one hand on his left shoulder and I was leaning round him so that I was on his right. He smelt of new clothes and shampoo.

"Oh! Thanks! You couldn't show me to English could you?" Jared turned to face me and a swallowed hard. Our eyes were level and I could feel his breath on my face.

"Yeah sure. Got a while until you have to go there though... I could show you around if you like?" I tried not to sound too desperate to get out of the room. I could feel my hands getting clammy and my stomach felt as if it had tied into a knot. Maybe I was developing a fever.

I knew that I didn't have to spend the whole half an hour with my designated buddy but I'd rather show the new kid round than be in my own English lesson right now. Plus I had nothing to lose by showing a year seven his new 'home' for the year.

"Okay." Neither of us moved and I felt a smile crawl onto my face as I stared into his innocent blue eyes. I felt myself wanting to know more about him and immediately pulled myself away from as I realised that a seventeen year old boy really shouldn't want to get to know an eleven year old boy. I'd look weird and desperate for friends.

"Let's go." I picked up my bag and he did the same, following me out of the room eagerly.

"Let's go on an adventure!" The small boy giggled and I gritted my teeth, forcing myself not to smile at how adorable his laugh was.

I showed him around the site and pointed the buildings of the school out from where we were walking on the field. I'd decided against showing him around from the inside because it was a nice day and we didn't really have much time. I'd been walking slower than I usually would because he only had small legs which affected how fast we could move.

"That building's where years twelve and thirteen sleep..."

"So you sleep in there?" Jared smiled at me, "which window is your room? I wanna throw stuff at it."

"Uh that one..." I squinted as I tried to make out where my room would be and pointed, "first floor, second window in from the left..." I stopped as I realised what I was doing. Was I really telling some kid where I slept? Admittedly he didn't seem like your average snotty kid but I didn't really want him paying visits to my room... did I?

"Expect eggs tonight... nah I'm joking, you seem alright so I wouldn't do that." Jared looked at his wrist and I noticed that he was wearing a watch, a very expensive one at that. Typical rich family then, "It's twenty five past... should I be getting to English?"

"Really? You know where you're going yeah?"

"Yeah but..." the small boy shuffled his feet and looked at the floor, "you said you'd walk me."

"Oh," I croaked. I felt terrible for forgetting that. I had been too engrossed in showing him around the school and just spending time with him, "I have English anyway in the room across from you."

Jared looked up from the floor and smiled at me with such a winning smile that I actually smiled back without even having second thoughts. I thought for a minute that I was actually starting to like this kid but brushed the thought off almost as quick as it came.

"At least you won't have to walk far to your lesson then." Jared walked next to me, moving his short legs quickly to keep up with my strides. I slowed down a little so that he could walk comfortably by my side.

"Well I wasn't actually gonna go..." I had always dreaded double English and this year would be no different considering that I'd still got stuck with the same teacher that I'd had for the past three years. He hated me.

"We don't have to go!"

"We?" I stared at Jared in disbelief. It was his first proper day of term and he was considering bunking off already? With me? I smiled at the thought of him wanting to spend more time with me and nudged him gently on his shoulder with my elbow, "can't be setting you a bad example when I'm meant to be putting you on the right tracks!"

"But I can't be bothered!" He whined back as he pulled a door open which lead into the English building. He held it open for me and smiled politely like I was some important figure of authority.

I laughed at him and stammered out a "thanks" before rolling my eyes and taking a shot at being a role model: "You can't just not turn up because you can't be bothered!" He scowled at me playfully and my role model attitude disappeared, "Maybe my next double lesson... when you've settled in!" There was something about Jared that made me not want to upset him. I had no idea what but it made me feel uncomfortable.

"Damiennnnnn!" He jokingly winged and my breath caught in my throat. He'd drawn out the n's at the end of my name and there was something about how he'd said it that... turned me on maybe? I almost cringed at that thought but there was something in the younger lad's eyes that was stopping me from finding it completely repulsive.

I knew it was completely wrong to feel that way but there was just something about this boy.

"Jareddddd" I moaned back and immediately regretted it as I realised that I was definitely beginning to get turned on now. I really did cringe at that point and faced away from the other boy so that he wouldn't see that something wasn't... right. It definitely wasn't right.

Jared giggled and dug his hands in his pockets, rooting around in them like he was looking for something.

"Have you got a pen I can borrow? I must have left mine in my room."

"No." I lied, rooting around in my own pockets and feeling the two pens I'd grabbed from my room that morning, "through here. That's your class." I pushed Jared lightly through the set of doors that took us to an opening with 6 doors surrounding us. I gestured towards the door with a 15 on it and we walked over to it together.

"Thank you." The small boy looked up at me and I tried to give him a comforting smile, "I just knock and go in?"

"Yeah. That's how doors work." I tried to sound irritated because I could see that my own classroom door was slightly open, meaning that everyone inside could possibly hear everything. It seemed to be silent in the class so I assumed that they would definitely be able to hear me.

"Well see you tomorrow." Jared smiled up at me and rapped on the door with his knuckles.

Tomorrow. I smiled a little more. We had to meet each other every day this week.

"Yeah, see ya." I watched as Jared walked in and heard him announce that he'd been with his buddy before closing the door behind him, smiling at me before he did so.

I only saw my little 'buddy' once again that day and that was from across a corridor when I was on my way to the library half an hour after dinner. I'd already received two essays to write and thought it was better to get them out of the way as soon as possible.

Jared appeared to have either made a friend or had just claimed someone else to irritate in my absence as he was slumped against a wall with another boy who must've been year seven also. I guessed this from the way that like Jared, he had his tie done up tightly and his clothes were all un-creased.

I was with two boys from one of my classes so when the smaller boy flashed me a smile and gave me a wave, I scowled at him.

The boys with me turned to me and gave me questioning looks to which I responded, loud enough so Jared could hear; "That's the midget I'm buddying with. Must think I like him." We all burst out laughing and I forced myself not to look back at the little boy as we walked away so that I wouldn't have to see how hurt he must have looked.

I felt awful for what I'd done and it took me over an hour to complete a six hundred word essay because I'd been too busy imagining Jared's face after I'd slated him. I imagined his blue eyes filling with tears and his cheeky smile fading, and just couldn't bring myself to write about some 'classic' book.

After another fifteen minutes of staring at the next essay question I had to complete, I gave up, said good night to my friends and made my way to the year seven dorm block hastily before my mind talked me out of it.

I had no idea what possessed me to think about apologising to the kid but I also had no idea where his room was which proved to be a major flaw in my plan. I knew I couldn't just knock on every door in the block until I found his because it would be time consuming and desperate. I also knew that I couldn't ask the year seven head because that would be weird so I came up with my own plan; sit outside the dorm block until Jared came along.

It was 8:45 and the curfew for years seven to nine to be in their blocks 9pm. For all I knew, Jared could have already gone up to his room or could be in the community room inside but I didn't really fancy going in there to be breathed on by a bunch of snotty kids.

Five minutes passed and I was beginning to feel awkward. A few groups of kids had entered the building and had all looked at me like I was some sort of alien. Excuse me but they were all probably at the school through choice; that's alien.

My heart leapt as I saw the next group of boys walking toward me as I could see the boy that Jared had been with amongst them. I felt my heart sink again as I realised that Jared wasn't with them and what I did next confused me as much as it confused the bunch of brats walking past me.

"Oi, you." I pulled the blonde haired boy that had been with my buddy to one side and glared at the kids that were staring at us. They all looked so scared which was hilarious.

"Hey!" The blonde kid squeaked and I took a moment of pleasure from his terror before turning so that my back was to his little minions.

"Jared; where is he?" I raised a fist up to threaten the boy and I watched as his eyes grew wide. I had no intention of hitting him but I'd learnt that being forceful was one of the quickest ways to get something you wanted done. It's not like I really _cared_ about Jared enough to hit someone over him...

"He went to our room over an hour ago!" The year seven squeaked and I dropped my fist, watching as the kid in front of me relaxed slightly.

"You share a room?" he nodded and I continued, "Tell him he has to come to his buddy meeting tomorrow okay?" the boy nodded again and I nodded back at him before pushing him back towards his friends, "If he's not there then I'm coming for you." I snarled and walked away, trying not to think about what I'd just done and _why_ because I wasn't even sure.

I laid in bed that night scowling at the ceiling, wondering what I would say to Jared in our meeting the next day that would convince him to not hate me.

I'd got out of bed and paced around my room a few times, grateful for the fact that year thirteen was such a small year group meaning that I didn't have to share a room. If I'd had a roommate then I would have driven them insane that night with my wandering around and not turning the light out until 2am.

I don't even know why I lost sleep over it. Jared was just some over-confident eleven year old kid that I probably would have nothing to do with after the week was over. Oddly the thought of that only made me feel worse... sad maybe? No, that would be ridiculous.

After hours of irritating myself and trying to convince myself that the younger boy didn't matter, I eventually turned my lamp out at just after 2am and rolled over in my bed so that I was face down, my head buried in the pillow.

The next morning came too quickly and it felt like it was half seven just minutes after I had drifted off. My alarm was ringing and I could hear the sounds of boys shuffling past my door to get to the year twelve and thirteen showers before the mad morning rush. I felt that I should shower but I had no energy and chose to stay in bed, half considering sleeping through breakfast so that I could get up just before morning "group" time.

Group time was half an hour on weekday mornings where we had to sit with our "group" which was made up of other students in our year and do 'team building' exercises. This basically meant that we sat around on tables chatting about how tired we were and how we couldn't wait to get jobs.

I forced myself out of bed, telling myself that if I didn't at least have a coffee then I would feel ten times worse than how I already felt which wouldn't make the day much easier.

I dragged my tired body over to my 'bathroom' (a small room with a sink and toilet crammed in) and groaned as I took the first few steps, feeling like my legs both weighed a ton each. I splashed cold water on my face and ran a wet hand through my floppy blonde-brown hair, moving it away from my eyes. I thought of how I'd insisted on not getting it cut for this half term and I found myself thinking about Jared and his ridiculously short hair that he'd been forced to have to look 'tidy'.

Jared.

I groaned again at the memory of what had kept me awake last night. That short year seven kid. I still felt awful for slating him the way I had and was almost praying that he would turn up to our buddy meeting. I just needed a chance to tell him that I wasn't a complete prat because... because younger students needed to be able to look up to older ones. That was it.

I splashed more water on my face in the hope to clear my mind of thoughts of Jared and instantly regretted it as the water pouring from the tap had managed to get colder in the few seconds that I had been thinking about the younger boy. I ran my hands through my hair again and began to work at it with my comb that was resting on the side of the sink.

After what seemed like forever, it was finally 10:20 and I was sitting in the meeting room waiting for the arrival of Jared.

10:25...

I slumped in my chair and ran a hand through my hair, feeling like a complete twat for what I'd done yesterday. He hated me.

10:30...

I got up from where I was sitting and walked towards the door, planning out where I was going to go for the last half an hour of second lesson when the door swung open in front of me.

A short boy in shorts and a light blue T-Shirt with a wet ring around the neck strode in and smiled at me.

Jared. He came.

"Lewis-James said you wanted me here?" He smiled cheekily at me and I realised that Lewis-James must've been the annoying kid that had almost crapped himself because of me the previous day, "sorry I'm late but I couldn't get out of P.E," he gestured to his hair that was glistening with water before pulling the neck of his top away from his body because of the discomfort of the damp material.

"Yeah well it looks bad on me if you don't turn up." I grumbled and watched as the smaller boy's smile faltered slightly, "you not gonna change out of your kit?"

"Well I was gonna turn up in just my swim shorts but I got stopped on my way here and told to cover myself up." Jared dropped his bag to the floor and began to lift his T-shirt over his head, half exposing his young torso.

"Um... you can go up to your room and change if you like?" I glanced at the part of his body that was showing; flat, barely toned and slightly tanned.

"Oh okay. Let's go." Jared dropped his top back down and picked up his bag before walking towards the door. It wasn't until he held the door open and raised an eyebrow at me that I actually realised that he wanted me to go with him. This wasn't how I'd imagined this meeting.

"To your room?" I clenched my jaw and ignored the feeling of fingers drumming a tune against the inside of my stomach, following him out of the room even though my head was telling me not to.

"To Mars." The short boy said sarcastically and I scowled at him, all the while my legs were following him in a direction that I was almost sure I didn't want to be going. I didn't even like the boy... much.

I huffed at him and we continued the rest of the way to his room in silence, awkwardness swimming around in the air. I knew that it was because of me and what I'd said but I was not going to say sorry.

When we arrived at his room, he pushed open his door and I followed him over to the one of three beds that was his. His pillow was laying across the middle of it and his duvet was all bunched up down the end with a pair of pyjama bottoms on top.

"Do you ever make your bed?" I grunted and picked up the pillow, placing it up the top of his bed where it should be.

"I'm just gonna mess it up again." The small boy shrugged and removed his T-shirt, throwing it at my face and grinning.

"Hey!" I tried to scowl at him but a smile got the better of me as I folded the top and placed it on the next to a pile of underwear which I tried to ignore before I put them all in a drawer.

"You gonna sit down?" The shirtless boy in front of me nodded at his bed and I felt my throat go dry before I sat on the edge of it, fighting the urge to at least fold his duvet. Jared smiled at me and joined me, sitting so that our legs were touching.

"The whole point of coming up here was so that you could change." I looked the other way from him and noticed a picture on his bed side cabinet; two boys with cheeky smiles.

"That's me and Peter," Jared read my mind and got to his feet, grabbing the photo before sitting down at the head of his bed and indicating with a tilt of his head that I should move next to him.

I hesitantly shuffled up so that both of our backs were on the wall and the sides of our bodies were pressed against one another so that we could both fit on. I could feel my heart beating faster in my chest and tried to ignore it, wondering what was going on with me.

"Nice hair." I snorted as I noticed that in the picture Jared's brown hair almost the length of his face and all over the place, making him look like he'd just dried off from a day in the sea. He was wearing dark blue jeans and a red chequered shirt and the boy -Peter- next to him was also wearing jeans but with a plain white T-shirt. Peter was a good few inches taller than Jared (obviously) and had darker brown hair which was almost black and I could just about make out hazel eyes maybe? They had their arms around each other and were standing on grass, grinning up at the camera.

"Better than what it is now!" Jared protested and put the photo back on the side, pulling his knees up under his chin and hugging his legs to his bare chest.

"Give it a couple of weeks and it'll look good." I offered and turned to face him, my stomach dropping at the way he was looking at me. He looked so vulnerable and small with his body curled up and his usual cheeky smile gone, replaced with a tiny frown.

I opened my mouth to speak and closed it again before taking a breath and giving speech another attempt;

"About what I said yesterday..." I paused and looked at him, taking in the way he raised his eyebrows and loosened his grip on his legs, "I was stupi- I shouldn't have said what I did and I'm... sorry." I grimaced at that word 'sorry'. I didn't say that to anyone.

"I understand." Jared murmured and slumped down into a half laying position, "I'd have done the same if I were you. Who wants everyone to know that they're friends with me?"

"Don't say that." I manoeuvred my body so that I could turn to look at him comfortably. I ended up laying on my side, propping myself up with an elbow, "I was just being an idi- I was living up to the private school boy stereotype I guess. Probably the worst role model they could give you to be honest."

"I reckon they only put me with you because we're both from the US... It's not too bad is it? Being my buddy?" Jared mirrored my position, tilting his head to the side.

"You're growing on me." I admitted reluctantly as I slid my elbow up the bed so that I could rest my head on my hand, forcing back a smile as my words made Jared's face light up a little.

"Growing isn't a word that's used when talking about me very often..." The boy laying next to me laughed and I smiled slightly, not able to hold it back for much longer, "I just can't wait until half term."

"We've only been in school a couple of days! You have another six years of this anyway, I get out of here for good in June!" I teased and Jared prodded my stomach as if it was going to shut me up.

"I know but I don't even want to be here... screw you - oh you're firm." Jared poked me again and I tensed. Morning sit-ups had clearly started to pay off.

If he had been trying to shut me up then he'd succeeded as I just stared at him. He dropped his hand so that it was just resting on my stomach and he was smiling at me, the cheekiness glistening in his blue eyes causing me to smile. I moved my free hand up to his and covered his hand with my own, not really sure what I was doing.

The younger boy didn't move. He just stared at me, looking slightly confused yet he was still smiling.

"I work out..." I muttered and quickly moved my hand from his and to his bare stomach, prodding him, "you should try it." I traced a line up his torso with my index finger and stopped when I realised what I was doing. I was touching Jared's naked chest.

"Oi!" He laughed a little and it was his turn to cover my hand with his own, except he did it to move our hands onto the space in between us. When I turned my hand over so that it was holding his, he didn't object. He didn't say a word.

I glanced down at our hands, trying to make sense of what was going on. There I was, laying on a bed with some kid I'd just met the day before, holding his hand. Just yesterday I was telling myself I didn't like the midget!

I gave a little squeeze to his small hand and shuffled my body a little closer to his, our eyes locked. When he didn't move away I did something that confused me way more than it confused the younger boy.

I kissed him.

I moved my face closer to his and took the way he didn't flinch as an invite to close the gap between us. I pressed our lips together and mentally cursed myself the whole time, yelling in my head that I was crazy and that I hated this boy I was... _kissing_.

I pulled my hand away from his and shifted so that I was at an angle where I was almost on top of him, resting on one of my hands and the other on his waist. I pushed at his lips with my tongue but he didn't part them, instead he just jabbed me in the stomach again and pulled away with a smile where my lips had been; an instant reminder of his age. He was eleven.

"Does that make us gay?" He squeaked, his high pitched, young voice more apparent to me than it had been before. I looked him in the eyes and noticed that although he was still smiling, he looked slightly scared.

"I don't know." I responded quietly and tried to get my head around what had just happened. My heart was in my throat and my head was pounding, I couldn't help but repeat the words "he's only eleven" over and over inside my mind. I almost felt ill.

We laid like that for a while, my hand on his hip, staring at each other. Neither of us had a clue what to do. I could only imagine what was going through the younger boys mind and had to stop myself from grimacing every time I took a breath as the realisation of what had just happened grew stronger with each one.

The bell rang for break and we both jumped, making me snatch my hand away from his body and causing a smirk to appear on Jared's face.

"It's just a bell."

"Shut up." I snapped and got to my feet, smoothing down my blazer jacket and adjusting my trousers. Jared got to his feet as well and folded his arms, suddenly looking like he was conscious of his body being on show.

"My roommates will probably be coming up here now."

"You should change then."

"Yeah." Jared rubbed the back of his head nervously and leant down to pick his bag back up off the floor that he had discarded earlier. He pulled his scrunched up uniform out of it and changed, removing his shorts before putting his shirt on.

I went to speak again to tell him I was just fooling about or that it was a joke but I just couldn't. I just watched him change, staring at his exposed body for the few seconds that he was only wearing boxer shorts. He buttoned up his crumpled white shirt clumsily before pulling his trousers out of his bag and stepping into them, pulling them up with one hand while the other attempted to continue with his shirt buttons.

"I've got Science after break." Jared broke the silence and I found my voice;

"So?" I scowled at him and clenched my jaw, mentally taking back my response when he stopped dressing and stared at me, his mouth twisted as he was clearly chewing the inside of his mouth, "uh... physics?"

"Chemistry." He chewed at his mouth for a little longer and a smile spread across his face as if he'd just thought of something, "Chemistry..." he repeated in a showman like voice and winked at me, "we have some of that."

It was the cringiest thing I had ever heard in my life but I knew that he was just trying to stop the atmosphere from being so awkward. I couldn't have been helping by just standing there staring at him, cringing at his words. I forced a laugh out and his cheeks flushed pink, causing something in my stomach area to somersault.

"That was disgusting." I smiled and walked over to him, gritting my teeth and forcing myself not to freak out. I was trying to remember that Jared was most likely feeling a lot more confused and scared about the situation than I was. He was only eleven and I was seventeen. I was legally an adult and he was still a minor and I wasn't actually allowed to touch him like that for another five years in England.

"You're disgusting." The younger boy looked at his feet and I fetched his tie from his bag and handed it to him, grabbing his hand as he took it.

"Jared, I..." I entwined our fingers and searched for the words to tell him that what had just happened could never happen again. I wanted the words so badly but I just couldn't say them. At that moment I'm sure I started to resent myself. There I was, a seventeen year old holding an eleven year olds hand and forcing myself to believe that I didn't have some sort of weird feelings for him. I felt so wrong and dirty yet I just couldn't let go of the smaller boy's hand.

"I don't mind if people make fun of us." Jared cut in as he forced a smile to his face and took my other hand in his own, "you know, if they call us names because I want to hold hands with a boy. I like you and I don't think it's weird to want to hug you and kiss you even though I was always told that that's how I should feel about girls."

"Oh." I was completely taken aback at what the little boy had just said. He'd just told me that he thought it was okay to _like_ me whereas almost everyone else around us would've been more than happy to give anyone a lecture on how gay is wrong.

"I... uh. I mean if that's okay with you..."

"Mm." I smiled and squeezed his hands, not sure how I was feeling. He smiled back at me and I took a moment to admire it. He always looked so cheeky when he smiled and it was what I suppose you'd call 'cute', "Our little secret maybe?"

"Okay, our little secret."


End file.
